Maggie Woodland Blog is up and running

If you are a fan of Maggie Woodland's writing, then you should check out her new blog.

New Issuse of The Writers Block

My poem "Lemon Drop" can be found in issue six of The Writers Block.

Now Or Never Publishing

Now Or Never Publishing is going to publish my second book of poetry "The Sun Has Forgotten Where I Live." It's coming out in the Spring of 2011. Yeah, way cool.

You can pre-oder "The Cube People"

The Cube People

The Cube People coming in October

Here comes "The Cube People."

Author Profile Up

Bayeux Arts finally put up my author profile - better late than never. Thanks Ashis!

An Ode to Google Books

Why hello, my name is Christian McPherson
most would say I’m a pleasant sort of person
some might even call me a gentle guy
for I write sensitive poetry that make the ladies cry

when I was boy I was a bit of a geek-head
I would play with my Commodore VIC-20 before bed
life with plastic Spock ears was simple you see
and one with a hundred zeroes was googol to me

but the world and I grew quickly up
and computing power went over the top
from the 64 to the IBM PC I went
and there showed up something called the internet

yes the world wide web came along
all the computers of the world were getting on
sharing information on the electronic super highway
bits and bytes by the billions flowing every day

and how was the world to make sense
of all this data that was vast as it was dense?
well Larry Page and Sergey Brin had a plan
and work on their internet search engine they began

yes these two smart and geeky lads
were a couple of computer science grads
and while they were working on their creation
I started to write more than just a flirtation

while these boys birthed out Google
poems and stories flowed from my noodle
and soon to my own surprise and delight
“Am a published author” I could recite

Google went from a noun to a verb
as the term “Googling” was often heard
and a second book I did produce
it was poetry and it wasn’t obtuse

Just like Colin Farrell the thespian
I Googled myself again and again
and up would come my written word
but then I noticed a error had occurred

Google Books had misspelled my last name
and I was very concerned about my online fame
so with a rapid clicking of the mouse
I hit on the link that said “Contact Us”

I fired off an e-mail with great efficiency
if they could please correct their inaccuracy
I told them it’s not MacPherson but Mc(mic)
and the misspelling was making me feel rather sick

they wrote me back they would try to repair
but it would be best if I contacted somebody elsewhere
for they get their book info a third party way
and with that they didn’t have much else to say

I contacted my publisher’s distribution company
and they corrected all spellings that were funny
and then I was much relieved know
that soon I would be again whole

so back to Google Books an e-mail went
that relayed the information I was sent
oh but nothing, but nothing, but nothing was done
and I feel like I’ve tried everything under the sun

I know I’m not the author of the best selling
and I continue to have a name of misspelling
but I bet if I were Stephen King or Margaret Atwood
Google Books would not “try” but sure as hell “would”

the praises of Google I can no longer sing
and I am sadly considering switching to Bing.
at maximum frustration my temper can no longer worsen
hey Google Books, get it right, my name is MCPHERSON!

The Cube People coming this fall

Nightwood Editions will be publishing my novel in the fall, tentatively entitled, “The Cube People.”

“The Cube People” pokes fun of government cubicle culture and follows character Colin MacDonald through his shared journey of fertility treatment with his wife Sarah. At work, a cast of screwball characters surrounds Colin. He toils away at his day job as a computer programmer for the federal government while he dreams of becoming a writer. Recycled air, bad lighting, and bizarre environmental office policies are part of his daily work routine. He spends his lunch hours with his co-worker Phil over at the geriatric filled Sunshine Valley Mall eating fast food. His evenings are filled with scheduled love making sessions until Sarah becomes pregnant. In his limited spare time he works late nights on his new horror novel. Every month or so another rejection letter about his science fiction novel gets dropped into his mailbox.

“The Cube People” cooks its way through this married trinity of ingredients (one part fertility treatment, one part madcap office antics, and one part horror novel) until it reaches its boiling point: childbirth and publication. Colin is overwhelmed with joy at the arrival of his daughter Sammy. More good news comes in the form of an e-mail stating that a publisher has accepted his sci-fi novel. But then tragedy befalls our hero: his publisher is institutionalized, his laptop computer is stolen (which contains his only copy of his new horror novel), and Sarah falls into postpartum depression.

When everything seems lost, an RCMP officer and the brother of a dead man turn Colin’s luck around.

Post publication, Colin still finds himself in his government job trying to write his way out. And back into a love making schedule he goes to try for a second child. When will it end?

Ottawater issue #6

Check out the latest issue of Ottawater.

2009 Relit Longlist

Wow, I managed to make the Relit Longlist again for ``Poems that swim from my brain like rats leaving a sinking ship.``
Congratulations to my friend Jim Johnstone for The Velocity of Escape (Guernica).

Also check out the new Bayeux website.

The Egregious Mystery Award

You can read my story "NURSERY CRIMES" in parts

Part 1

Parts 2 and 3

Part 4

Part 5

Interview

Listen here for my interview with Nigel Beale.

Book Launch for Poems That Swim

That’s right, another book is being launched.

Who: Christian McPherson, his beautiful wife Marty Carr, Collected Works and thousands of hungry book buyers

What: Book Launch of “Poems That Swim from My Brain Like Rats Leaving a Sinking Ship” from publisher Bayeux Arts http://www.bayeux.com/BOOK__101.htm

When: Saturday December 6th, 5-7 pm

Where: Patty’s Pub on Bank Street in Ottawa South (same as last time) 1186 Bank Street (613) 730-2434

Why: Because it’s a great excuse to come out and drink beer with your friends and to pick up Christmas gifts for all of your family and friends

How: By an act of will, or if you are a determinist, by an act of fate.

Please let me know if you plan on coming so I can tell the Pub approximately how many they can expect. Tell all your friends. Hope to see you there.

On the ReLit Shortlist

I made the shortlist - cool beans!

Relit Longlist

"Six Ways to Sunday" made the Relit 2008 longlist!